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I cried the day the Obamas walked the tarmac to leave their presidency behind. Like, ugly cried. Jeremy not only thought it was odd that I was crying, but that I was so worked up. This middle-aged white man had no idea. (I mean, he had an idea, but to which degree – nope.)

He called the other day right after I read the news that RBG passed. I picked up the phone but was speechless. Finally, I muttered, “RBG died.” Tears burned my throat. Fuck. I hate crying. 

“What’s wr.. is it just the RBG thing?”

Just?

 (I mean, he had an idea, but to which degree – nope.)

Like, ma dude, this is a problem. A big one. A “I am looking at how to move to New Zealand” kind of situation. Coincidentally, this is the same search I did after my tears had dried, and the Obamas had likely touched down in Palm Springs. (Or was it Branson’s place they headed to first?)

When I see nudists get on Twitter and talk about how to bring newbies into nudism, the only question I ever see is, “how do we get more women to be nudists.”

Ma dudes. This is not the question.

 

The question is; “how do we become more diverse and inclusive?”

Because here’s the thing: women don’t feel safe around men, and I’ve got the receipts to prove it.

To take it a step further, women feel safe around gay men. (See receipts above.)

Women just don’t want to get raped and leered at I PROMISE you. (Again, receipts.)

Instead of asking the question “How do we get more women into nudism,” the question is, how do we create a safe and inclusive space so ALL feel comfortable in their naked state. Like, stop leaving entire colors, demographics, and age groups out of the conversation. WTF.

Every time I see stuff come out from the AANR, it is singularly “men” “women” word usage. Dude. It’s 2020. You guys sound ancient. I just can’t get behind an organization that refuses to be more inclusive to my friends, my community. Plus, the AANR doesn’t move fast enough. They are not going to save us. 

I had a fifty-year-old neighbor (and nudist) tell me that Jeremy and I ‘move too fast.’ (We move like city-dwelling millennials. I didn’t realize that when we moved to “the burbs” (a 45-minute drive from downtown Seattle), we were in Footloose country. Dude, do you not watch the news? We don’t move fast enough

We had ONE woman propping up the entire United States’ ability to deliver safety and inclusion to all, and when she died, the ability for the US to protect my friends and me died with it.

I am scared shitless.

We need our communities now more than ever because nothing feels safe and nobody is moving fast enough. Make the goal diversity and inclusion. Let’s move faster together.

Choose your Reaction!
  • Amen and Amen. I rarely jump in on shit with this kind of tone, but this shit towards women fucking makes me furious. It is sad to say this is so true. For Lynn and I, I would go to nudist places beforehand to make sure this was a safe environment for her(this is ridiculous that I feel like I even have to do this). (1). We are considerably younger than a lot of people that show up to places, (2 )I would go and see what the male culture was in the place and how they looked or talked to women in that environment. If I felt I couldn’t leave her alone and her not get bombarded by dudes (we wouldn’t return together)… if it felt safe we would then give that place a try together. And yes, we have left places after only being there minutes.

    Being pro-female is not the same as wanting more women to be a part of things. They must also feel safe… the same as if we had our ”children” around, because I have heard that so many times at nudist/naturist places are safe for children and then see women get gawked and moved in on. It should be just the same for women as it is the children, some of those children will become women. Shit has to change, and as people like us unite and make not just safe spaces, but true cultural changes. Until this happens, women will not be safe, our female children won’t be fucking safe, our daughters won’t be safe. We don’t need to empower women, as males in a male run culture, we need to give up power, not “empower” which means they still have to fight for representation, and let women take up the mantle of leadership they deserve. Then we will see our culture start to change. Then it won’t be a campaign to get more woman to be a part, they simply just will.

    • I counted how many good experiences I’ve had out of the ten places I‘ve visited. Two. Two were good.

      Two I would feel confident taking a nubie to. Two I felt were safe for black, brown, or LGBTQ+ folks. All of the places were AANR affiliated.

      “As people like us unite and make not just safe spaces, but true cultural changes…” Happy to have you here!

  • Every thing mentioned is why my wife isn’t interested and why I dont push her on it. Another site that I joined and promptly left (and won’t name) is littered with males thinking they are being polite, but are just being creepy. If a woman posts a picture, you can bet it will be fill of comments like “Nice breasts!” Just because they said breastst instead of boobs or anything else doesn’t mean they aren’t still implying that women are just a sum of thier parts. I dont like that its made it difficult for single men that aren’t like that, but I dont blame them one bit for avoiding men. I’m too new with this to know how to make things more secure and inclusive outside of being the change that you want to see.

    • When Jeremy first introduced me to nudism he had me check out True Nudists. I was horrified. I’m no prude but I was like, “if this is what being a nudist is, no thanks.” It’s part of how I ended up creating this very site. When I went online to Instagram to start finding like-minded people and was inundated with D+V pics I was horrified and wanted to quit. I’m glad that I didn’t, and I’m glad that you are here! As I said in one of my previous blogs, “I’m hearing that a lot of you are nudists, but your partners aren’t, and I’d like them to feel comfortable dipping their toes in our pool first should they decide nudism may be for them.” Hopefully she’ll feel comfortable coming to one of our Zoom chats – we’d love to meet her. So glad you have joined us!

      • That would indeed be awesome! It will likely take some time, but time I’ve got! I haven’t had time yet to meet anyone else, but so far I’d say you’re doing the right things with this club and even if she never comes around to trying it, it’ll be nice for her to know that it’s a group of nice people and not the average internet perv, for sure.

  • Great read, thanks for writing this. We are AANR/TNSF members, but mostly because it “felt like the right thing to do” to support the major agencies that fight for our rights as nudists on a national or global scale, as opposed to any direct benefit we gain personally from the organizations. We are happy to support them, but agree we have a long way to go. We are personally glad to see folks like Linda Weber (TrueBlueNude on Twitter) in positions of influence within AANR, as well as people like Tim and Charlotte getting involved with their social media management

    • Hmm. Guess I hit the enter key to make a paragraph break and it submitted the post, woops! At any rate, sorry to hear about your awful approval rating for the places you’ve visited. We haven’t had any bad experiences outside of beach creeps (and one bold enough to approach us with propositions for sex), but definitely agree these places aren’t always as welcoming as they should be toward all walks of life, especially when one of the key tenets of naturism is that it is intended to be a great equalizer.

    • Agreed! I absolutely respect what those organizations (we pay for both as well) have done to protect nudist spaces and will most likely continue to pay them for that same reason. I’m also really happy to see them amplifying more diverse voices. It’s a start for sure.

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